brobeforehos | [eudio] inbox

[ He laughs softy, peers up at her. ] California's not all about beaches, Mae.

[ Actually yeah, that might be a good idea.

Pulling back a little. ] Let me stretch out on this couch and you can flop on me instead.

[ He's got a foot on you and he's fairly broad, you're tiny by his estimation. ]

[Well. That sure draws attention to they way they're sitting, suddenly.

It's in her head, though. IT's as weird as she'll let it get. And she shouldn't let it be weird, so.] Okay. [She lets him go, so he can get up first.]

[ He's getting up and reaching around to toss some of the pillows that might be in the way.

( That's catching the attention of Naoki, naturally -- one little ball of fluff with large ears darting from nowhere to on top of the heap. He's got beef with the pillows because they need to be shown who's boss. )

Josh's attention is squarely on Mae though. Okay, there.

Leaning back, holding out a hand. ]

[She's shorter than him, that much is undeniable. She also fits very nicely, it turns out, between him and the back of the couch, even if mostly she does flop on top of him. And somehow, she manages to keep it as platonic as it can get. Score.]

This is nice.

[ He's smiling down at her at that, one arm tucked around her shoulders as they settle in. ]

It is, isn't it? [ He used to pile on the couch back in Baluerte like this, with Cindy whenever she wasn't feeling at her best. ] I think the only person I've done this with of late is Hikaru.

[ Naturally, because boyfriend-turned-husband-to-be. ]

My sister and I used to do this though, when we were kids.

Jamie and I as well... [There's that tone, the one she uses when she talks about her brother, that betrays how much she misses him. At one point, being in Eudio will stop being for him, it'll be for herself, and when that happens she won't have anything to do against missing him. She simply will.

But she doesn't have to admit it yet.

His chest is warm, she notices this when she rests her cheek against it. It's warm and she can feel his heartbeat, and that is lovely.] But I can't recall anyone else.

Tell me about him? [ He tucks her head under his chin, happy that the two of them can just be like this. It reminds him a little of Yulia, in that hall. Except there's no tears now, no grief over Marcin and apologies for crossed lines when he'd back off instead of run after her to push her to talk about her feelings. ]

Your brother, I mean.

[ He smiles, bows his chin a little, so that his lips hover sort of over the very top of her head. ]

And then we can swap and you can ask me anything you like.

[ It seems a good enough way to pass the time. ]

[Oh boy, her very favourite conversational topic: Jamie. She smiles and settles in for the story time.]

He's younger than me, but not by much. He's -- my best friend and my partner in crime in every way. [Every way.] He's witty and sweet and a little too trusting and he uses humour as a defense mechanism. [Like you don't, Mae? Who'd he pick it up from?]

He's as much against physical exercise as I am, though we like - we do this thing, it's a game. We call it where did you learn how to dance.

[ He laughs at that; a small, happy sound. His breath warm in the space between his mouth and her hair. ] He sounds like one of my friends from back home.

[ Kaz. Kaz who's always picked on and who was all-too game to let him propose to Hikaru at his engagement party. ( Gimme the song, Joshua. I'll set it up with Uncle Gids. ) Kaz who didn't understand a lick of football, who out of all the Hounds led a pretty charmed life, but who wanted to work hard and remain good and sweet all the same. ]

So, I guess this is the part where I ask: So where did you two learn how to dance -- or is this a trick question?

Ah, it actually is. See, really the honest truth is that our parents tried to get us interested in a lot of sports. Fencing, horseback riding, real plebeian stuff. [Right. Right, well - maybe she should've picked up fencing, or maybe she could do it here and honor Annabeth with it.] But dancing was the only one we liked.

The game however, was to find the strangest of responses. Ask me, I'll show you.

[ Alright, Mae Crawford: he'll bite. ]

So... where did you?

[ Let's be honest here, he'd like to know. ]

[She turns her head, props her chin in her hand and her elbow on his shoulder, not uncomfortably. Actually, she's pretty cozy right here. And a slow smile.]

At an all-girls school in France. The nuns caught me dancing with the daughter of a Duke and had me expelled for wily hips.

Sounds shocking.

[ Grinning at that. He also doesn't move, because he's pretty comfortable himself. ]

See. [ A beat. ] I knew you were a heartbreaker.

[ He's teasing. It's one of the things he likes to do with you. ]

Make a habit of it much?

[An innocent little shrug, before it becomes a smug smile.]

Don't worry. [Nose boop.] You're safe.

[ He blinks at that, completely taken by surprise.

( He can feel the blush creeping up the back of his neck and onto the backs of his ears, but it's only really because she's so close. )

He's trying to keep his jaw loose, because there's a little tic there that'll betray nervousness and there's... nothing for him to be nervous about, right? Lowering his gaze now, also pushing aside the sudden fluttering in his stomach as he remembers Hikaru's words echoing in his head.

( ...if things happen for you the way that they're happening for me, I don't want to get in your way either. )

A small smile now, before he looks back up and presses a quick kiss to your forehead. ]

Special treatment, huh?

[If she feels any fluttering pulse, she assumes it's hers, and so it goes. So it is.]

For you? Always.

[ Okay. This is something he can ride with. The teasing, the joking. After all, they're friends -- right? ]

Bet you say that to all the boys.

[Not to the boys, to the men. Not to all of them. The answers are so many, she could pick one and go with it, but...]

I don't.

[ It's on the tip of his tongue to say: We were just kidding around... right? Because there's something about the air in between that seems a little too charged.

Ducking his head at that, clearing his throat. ] Okay, I give. You win.

[She's not sure what happened in Josh's mind right there, but she thinks maybe it's not the best idea to stay this way longer. The contact, the closeness, the intimacy of it...

It's not fair. It's not fair, because this is also Hikaru's apartment and she also likes Hikaru, and cares for him too, and whatever thoughts she's having -- regardless of what the two of them have dicussed -- aren't fair.

She looks down and slowly brings her arm down to lie back where she'd been before.]

What's my prize?

[ He's quietly hoping that his relief isn't too visible. That he didn't make this awkward because the guilt is seeping through. He wants to tell her it's not her, it's really him. That he's only ever looked at one horizon and he's afraid if he turns away, he'll lose his direction.

But he's bad at words where his feelings count and he's also scared that if he steps wrong, they'll both lose her.

Elaine help him. Honesty Hour sucks. ]

An apology.

[ Bite the bullet, LaRue. ]

I'm sorry. I think I have a talent for making things between us awkward.

[Well, and here she was going to lie back down and snuggle, but that makes her lift her head up from his chest so she can look at him with all the quiet surprise.]

What are you talking about? What's awkward?

[ It's funny how he wants to lie. Or deflect. Or dodge the truth of it.

But this is Mae and she matters to his boy. Josh might not know how he feels beyond what he already does ( trust, comfort, aspects of home away from actual home ) but that she means so much to Hikaru is more than enough.

He opens his mouth.

He closes it again. ]

Like I'm one step from crossing a line.

[ He can't look at her right now. But what'll be plain as day is confusion and maybe a little guilt.

He likes you. But he doesn't know if he wants to let go of the grip he has on his heart. Eudio makes so much more complicated than he thought. ]

[She was right, this is not the best position to be in for...any of this, really. It's not like she resents him for saying it, she respects the honesty, appreciates it. But it breaks the silent pact, those words that have gone unspoken for as long as she has had them.

Crossing the line. She's still wide-eyed from before, but the expression is due to something else now. With her gaze, she sweeps over his entire face, looking for any little hint.

When that's not enough, however, she goes for verbal confirmation. Always, words are better than interpreting silences.]

What line is that?

The one I drew for myself in the sand. [ Because he's never loved anyone else -- and he's kind of daunted by the prospect of pursuing any thought of entertaining anything else, even if permission has been given.

What ifs are just what ifs if you're firm in keeping them there; because the actual probability of something outside of a maybe is harder than it looks.

His arm hasn't moved. He hasn't drawn away. They're still together on that couch in the same way that they were a little over a minute ago.

If anything, Mae, he looks a little helpless. Lips pressing together because he doesn't have or trust what words he does. Because you mean something but Hikaru's better at putting words to emotions. ]

He was my first, you know?

[ There's a silent something there. A quiet, soft and scared and I was okay with the thought that he would always be my Only.]

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