brobeforehos | 005 ⇨ every family needs a cook

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curse: affected

005 ⇨ every family needs a cook

[video]

[here is Mae, doing her thing in the kitchen - stirring some soup over the fire, gently, a small smile on her face, very matron - hold on, something is wrong.]

Now, I know that you must've been impressed by that boy, my dear heart, but falling in love is no excuse to skip your meals. There's barely any meat on those bones - do you think any self-respecting prince would want to wed someone with no hips?

No, no. [waggling the wooden spoon in the air - at absolutely no-one? - and then smiling again.] That's why you have Nanny Mae here for, though, sweet one. We'll get you all dolled up in a heartbeat.

[ooc; Every novel has the matronly caretaker of the princess/girl/heroine. Knowing the luck of this family, Mae will probably think Jamie and Alan are her princess-charges. :D But she'd feed everyone. And by feed I do mean poison. Ew Mae!food.]

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[MADAM. ARE YOU A KINDLY MATRON WHO COULD HELP A YOUNG AND PRETTY NEWCOMER TO THIS CITY FIND A RESPECTABLE MODISTE FROM WHOM TO ORDER A PRETTY DRESS?

Because helloooooooooo.]

That's very kind of you, madam.

[BUT CERTAINLY MY DEAR BUT FIRST A LITTLE HEART TO HEART.]

Such a polite girl, too - why, you remind me of your mother.

[WHAT IS BEING YOUNGER? UNIMPORTANT.]

[HER MOTHER WOULD PROBABLY NOT APPROVE OF HER ELOPING WITH A DARK AND HANDSOME MAN TO GET MARRIED ON THE SPUR OF A MOMENT IN A FOREIGN CITY. But it's clearly meant to be a compliment, so she smiles.]

Thank you, madam, I'm so pleased you think so.

[NEITHER WOULD NANNY-MAE, WHAT IS THAT SORT OF BEHAVIOUR?!]

So tell me, dear, what's been on your mind?

[SCANDALOUS. Also fit for a romance novel.]

Well, I'm afraid I find myself in a bit of a predicament; I'm, er, in need of a few new dresses, and my unfamiliarity with this city has left me rather helpless as to where to find a good modiste.

Indeed? Worry not, I know my way around here - quite a few pleasant seamstress live in this city, which I am sure you'll find satisfying, m'dear. Always better to have choices.

I'd hope the prince would have respect for someone other than himself, as well.

Well, those are things that you can teach him, of course.

[another wise waggle of her wooden spoon - sorry about the noodles on the counter...]

[Jamie walks into the kitchen to grab a packet of chips, or something equally high in salt, that does not require use of the stove/oven/microwave/anything but opening the packet (which is hard enough!).

Then he stops when he sees Mae stirring soup. And does a double take.

And pauses in the doorway as she talks to-- herself? Her imaginary friend Princess Bob...alina? Jamie has no clue. But he does clear his throat awkwardly as she finishes speaking.]

I don't know how to tell you this, Mae... but I don't think I would look very good in a dress.

Must be because you haven't found the good one yet!

[You don't need talking mice to find a good dress when Mae can sew it! Ha...ha...ha.]

I'll fix that too.

Oh, of course. I haven't yet tried sparkly or frilly. [He says that sarcastically, but then frowns as he wonders whether or not Mae will actually... take that seriously. Considering she's not... acting like herself...

At all.]

Er, that is-- you don't have to do that! I'm sure I can... manage. I am very manageable! Or managing. Or something.

Sparkly or frilly? [she scoffs.] We're not dressing you up for the fae ball, boy.

[Pause.] Then what are you dressing me up for? I mean, I am quite happy with just jeans and a shirt. [And multi-coloured sneakers or a hoodie or something atrociously colourful.] I'll even wear the "lock your sons up" one if it's a special occasion.

You don't get the princes to notice you wearing jeans and a shirt, boy.

Oh. Do I want the princes to notice me? Are we talking about actual princes who have... kingdoms and crowns and things?

Well, I'd certainly hope so - it's what any self-respecting young princess as yourself deserves.

... Did you just say princess? [It has to be a curse, right? Mae wouldn't go this far for a joke-- plus, princess? Jamie feels slightly insulted. He couldn't at least be a dashing prince or... or knight in shining armour ready to sweep a dashing prince off his feet?] Mae, do you feel faint at all? Is your vision blurred?

How many fingers? [He holds up three.]

Three...[scowling again.] What game are we playing now? I feel perfectly fine - but by the way you're behaving, I'd say you need some food.

[He stares at the soup apprehensively.] Oh, no, I just ate! Thinking about it, it might have been off. I probably shouldn't chance more food right now.

[She looks at him apprehensively, then at the soup. Purses her lips. And then shrugs her shoulders.]

Some tea, then.

I'm sure tea would be lovely! [... It's hard to mess up boiled water and a tea bag, isn't it? Jamie doesn't usually drink much of the stuff, himself. He figures being a football fan is enough of a British stereotype.]

[Boiling water in a pot.]

While we wait, tell me more about him.

[Him? A theoretical love interest? Not that Jamie would object overly much to actually having a dashing prince vying for his affections, but sadly he thinks this is as much of a hallucination as everything else Mae is saying.

... But it won't hurt to play along, will it? Considering that it's rather amusing, really, to have Mae acting like... this.]

He's very... um, princely? As you might expect, I suppose. And he has... very nice abs. He could be a model in a different, twenty-first century life.

Aren't we in the twenty-first century? [Gives him an odd look - you know, because what is time consistency in these novels anyway? NOTHING.]

So...he has a nice body. [Giggle. Yes - a giggle.]

Are we? [So is this theoretical prince meant to be Prince William or his City equivalent or something?? ... not that that would inspire much complaint, either.] Oh, well, I just meant... if he had a properly twenty-first century occupation. Since I'm told princes have been around for a while.

[Jamie nods solemnly-- and by solemn it means he is trying very hard to not burst out laughing-- in response to the giggle, though. Mae, giggling? The world is ending.] Very nice. He must work out.

A nice income and a good body, yes - that's quite a good line-up he's got there, your prince.

[She smiles - at ease, because her little dear boy is growing up and soon will have to learn how to knit for his future husband and so on - and pats his cheek lovingly.]

You grow up so fast...

Rich and good-looking, what else do you need?

[And well, while Jamie thinks this is quite possibly the most hilarious curse-- Nanny Mae?-- it is also a bit freaky.]

Well, I'm only sixteen. Don't you think it's a bit early to be telling me I've grown up? I'm not even a legal adult yet.

At your age, my mother would've married me off already...

[Frown.] I don't think Annabel would go that far.

Well - either way, now I have a different duty.

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005 ⇨ every family needs a cook

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action BECAUSE I'M A REBEL

action wow rebel princess

action can he be a pretty princess too 8(

action if he lets her dress him up he can 8(

action well fine 8(

action 8)

action lmao mae is always bossy no matter what

action sob i can't even

action ffskjgh crying

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